Inebriation

I think that people need to realize a very important thing in regards to the consumption of alcohol. I full-heartedly believe that if you are under pressure and consume alcohol as a release, as something to get you away from the issues that you have to deal with right then and there… then you might need to have a re-evaluation of your mental state… and maybe stay away from alcohol for awhile.

On the other hand, if you understand that about yourself and still feel the need to drink… Eh, why not. But it’s not a good idea, your problems won’t disappear in the long run even though you can find solace in the few hours of being so tipsy/drunk, you can’t even comprehend thinking about your issues.

Sometimes I feel guilty, using it as a way out to not have to worry about the stressors of my life. But it’s hard, you know? I don’t crave it every day, I don’t crave it when I don’t feel like drinking, and I find no issues with myself having a few drinks when I’m happy. But when I find myself at the bottom of the slope, when I feel like I just slipped and have fallen into a deep abyss and I can’t claw my way out, it’s a struggle to not want to find something, anything to help ease the pain of knowing that it will be a long, tiring, and difficult journey back out of this hole.

Mostly, I find comfort in it when I realized that I could no longer find comfort or companionship with the people I have surrounded myself with. And other times, I feel bad because I come to those who know me best and let everything out, spilling all my worries and troubles and issues all out in one disgustingly obscene blurb. Usually while inebriated.

One time, someone very dear to me scolded me after one night of bitter fighting with my significant other. We fought over something stupid and we were both drunk. My friend told me the next day that she was so angry at me because I had the audacity to slander myself while I was drunk out of my mind and she told me that hearing me say those things about myself was the worst thing she ever had to deal with when it came to me.

But it truly is so sad, what alcohol lets slip out. What can you do?

Anyways, I think I am done with these drunken musings for tonight. I was going to write some fun stories or something while I was like this, however… I figured it’d be better if I wrote something semi-pensive and philosophical and drunken about myself and my musings so I could look back at it while sober and think about how stupid I was. Or how amazingly smart I was. Whichever comes first.

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